Ryan Perrilloux is our University's Britney Spears
Neal Hebert
Issue date: 4/10/08 Section: Opinion
I'm thinking it, you're thinking it, so someone just needs to say it - Ryan Perrilloux is the closest thing our University has to Britney Spears.
And we can't get enough of him.
The weaker members of our herd cry about the devaluation of collegiate football and athletics as a whole, but I couldn't be happier. Just like the rest of the community, I'm popping popcorn and getting ready for the show we all know must go on.
Judging from the headlines, Perrilloux is finally ready to give us the greatest show on earth - one embarrassingly-public detail plastered across the front page of every college newspaper in the nation at a time.
And to think he got his start here, with our own humble and award-winning Daily Reveille.
Britney Spears would kill for this much media saturation.
Seriously.
America has had years to learn to loathe Spears, but Perrilloux's campuswide success at building his brand of small-time infamy is a sure sign of greatness to come.
You didn't see Spears grabbing headlines back when she was a Mouseketeer, did you? She wasn't a professional trainwreck way back when she was an amateur on The Disney Channel, was she?
So while Spears gives us pomp, circumstance and all the appeal of a primetime car crash, Perrilloux gives us a local taste of that far-off criminal Cristal - and it sure as hell isn't last call from where I'm sitting.
I'm a classy guy. I give money to the homeless and drink exotic teas just like everyone else.
But Perrilloux is turning University students like me into the next generation of supermarket rubberneckers - only now we don't even need the latest issue of People to do it.
When it comes to the fame and fortune of others, it's safe to say we're vultures - the only safe celebrity is a celebrity whose carcass has been picked clean. So when the University's next star quarterback becomes our newest plate of celebrity roadkill, we'll all have blood on our hands and flesh in our teeth.
And we can't get enough of him.
The weaker members of our herd cry about the devaluation of collegiate football and athletics as a whole, but I couldn't be happier. Just like the rest of the community, I'm popping popcorn and getting ready for the show we all know must go on.
Judging from the headlines, Perrilloux is finally ready to give us the greatest show on earth - one embarrassingly-public detail plastered across the front page of every college newspaper in the nation at a time.
And to think he got his start here, with our own humble and award-winning Daily Reveille.
Britney Spears would kill for this much media saturation.
Seriously.
America has had years to learn to loathe Spears, but Perrilloux's campuswide success at building his brand of small-time infamy is a sure sign of greatness to come.
You didn't see Spears grabbing headlines back when she was a Mouseketeer, did you? She wasn't a professional trainwreck way back when she was an amateur on The Disney Channel, was she?
So while Spears gives us pomp, circumstance and all the appeal of a primetime car crash, Perrilloux gives us a local taste of that far-off criminal Cristal - and it sure as hell isn't last call from where I'm sitting.
I'm a classy guy. I give money to the homeless and drink exotic teas just like everyone else.
But Perrilloux is turning University students like me into the next generation of supermarket rubberneckers - only now we don't even need the latest issue of People to do it.
When it comes to the fame and fortune of others, it's safe to say we're vultures - the only safe celebrity is a celebrity whose carcass has been picked clean. So when the University's next star quarterback becomes our newest plate of celebrity roadkill, we'll all have blood on our hands and flesh in our teeth.
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 5
marstiger
posted 4/10/08 @ 1:56 PM CST
Damn,
I never thought of it that way. Come to think of it, I don't want to think about it.
Whataburger
posted 4/10/08 @ 2:12 PM CST
Looks like someone watched a recent South Park
The Editor
posted 4/10/08 @ 2:44 PM CST
Stop typing.
In single sentences.
Placed in separate sentences.
mrwhodat
posted 4/10/08 @ 7:25 PM CST
Speak for yourself moron. I wasnt thinking it, noone i know was thinking it (Ofcourse they all have an IQ over 80), and noone had to say it. Why? Because it is the most ridiculous comparison i've ever heard. (Continued…)
Greg
posted 4/10/08 @ 7:50 PM CST
WOW I agree! When posted a comment on the 635th Ryan Perilloux Reveille article LAST week, I said the exact same thing! How pathetic the Reveille must be! The articles scream AMATUER. (Continued…)
Post a Comment